Why Vampires Suck?

Generally, vampires as mythical creatures don't suck (I don't mind them as long as I'm not a target, haha).

But vampires reimagined by Stephenie Meyer for the Twilight series suck BALLS, so I'm just gonna stick to that.

First of all, what kinda lame ass vampires SPARKLE in sunlight like a mirror disco ball? Vampire mythology states that they burst into flames and ashes when exposed to sunlight, not SPARKLE like some blinged out *insert generic object here*. They're even bigger fairies than fairies - no insult to fairies, in general.

Actually, I think the disco ball is a better actor than the Twilight leads, BWAHAHA..!!

See? No difference, what - HAHA

And thanks to Ms. Meyer and her kanasai Twilight series, we now have to suffer through the surge of vampire related TV programming like True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, etc etc. And I was a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer too, man.

Vamps were cool in the 90s and now a joke in the new millennium, no thanks to Ms Meyer -WTF.

I rather see Rhona Mitra suck blood any day.